Dear Beyonce,

Hey Bey! My news feed told me you were having twins. I almost thought of announcing my pregnancy the exact same way, but I was having trouble getting the veil draped over my head, so instead my husband and I just posted a “hey we’re getting two new roommates in April” announcement to Facebook and…

The Question You Should Never Ask

A seemingly a nonthreatening question. Whether transported via text or a run-in at the grocery store, the intention of the question is of course courteous. However, generating an answer on the other hand is like channel surfing. What response are you in the mood to hear? HOW ARE YOU? The Hallmark Channel: We are great!…

What is the cheese bus?

 Q: What is a cheese bus? A: Well. It is a yellow bus, like cheese. Naturally. Q: Why is it the name of the website? A: English teachers love symbols. My daughter acquired this phrase, the cheese bus, from one of her beloved speech therapists, and the term just stuck. The actual riding of the…

7 Things to Do When you are “Breaking”

In our house, breaking means – you can no longer pull it together. For my twin babies, it means throwing your body dramatically on the ground because you aren’t allowed to eat the remote control.   For my daughter with special needs, it means an absolute meltdown because the legs of your doll are bending or…

Four Little Words.

There is an unwritten manual. You have to look closely to uncover it, but it is there. It is lurking in every waiting room. It is prowling through the post office with each anticipatory piece of mail. It is looming over the entire country.   And it is four little words. Perhaps not as popular as…

To The Ones on the Sidelines,

I punch about 47 numbers into my landline phone to connect Madison, Wisconsin to Bondoukou, Cote d’ivoire.  I have no more than four minutes to talk to my big sister, currently in her eighth month as a member of the Peace Corps.  Up to this point, our conversations have been exchanges via a 1980s dictaphone…

Salami at the JCC

I have a secret.  We bring salami into the JCC.  Well, just the parking lot.  It’s a necessity. Let’s create some context.  I am Jewish.  My husband is not.  I don’t eat pork.  My husband loves bacon.  The original plan for our inevitable children  – “Christian Days” The days you were allowed to consume pork products. …